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@#%#$%#$^

I'm so frustrated.. I'm gonna be 27 years old in a week, still single and no where near getting married. I need to get married and settle down. Not just that I want to but for fucks sake. Life is just so frustrating and with my stupid luck, it seems like every time I meet a man, it's always a disappointment.

I'm just not sure what to do. I can stop thinking about it but that means just completely give up hope of getting married. I don't want to spend my entire life being alone. That's what I am most afraid of.

Why oh why can't I find a good man to settle down. Someone who also wants to settle down with ME, someone who's not divorce or has kids, or half my age, or men who doesn't have a job or not financially independent yet. AHHHHHH.... I just want to scream....

People say so many bullshit, "you're too young", "Good things come to those who waits", or "You haven't found a man yet coz God is saving the best for you". Okay when then when am I supposed to find him? When I'm old and wrinkly and have no energy to enjoy my life. What's the point then? It's like living your more than half life alone and then you find your match when you're about to die.! Sigh!!

What's the point??? Also, I can't accept that I will have to live my life alone all by myself OR with someone I hate the most. or one of those wife who just settled with someone who doesn't even meet half their expectation of a perfect match!!!

AHHH!!! Just saw two of my friends getting married. Ha come to think of it even married man rejected me. Am I then one of those girls whom no body wants? Why does my life has to be so tragic where I can't complain about bad things because there are people who has it worst than me. I can't either be happy with what I have. This is a complicated life. This is the worst life you can have when you're in the middle.

If you have the worst, you can cry about it and complain. If you have everything you desire, you can be happy about it and live your life. What about those, who can't even cry about it. It's not fair, is it?

Wish I could just turn myself to dust. Life just seems pointless. All the hard work I have done to be successful and happy just seem to wasted. What do I have, if I don't have the things I wish for most?

I am so angry and disappointed that I just want to give up on everything!!!!

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