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Today's dilema

I was going to nag about the day and how I was feeling sleepy (which I still am) but boy does getting coffee makes me happy!!!

YEEEEEPPP!!! I'm that happy now. Just realized that talking to my friends and taking some calls for interviews made me feel lot better. I think I should make some calls after work as well. I have been feeling guilty of not doing anything  by looking at other people's progression in life compare to mine. Funny, today I read a tweet saying  "Female facebook users are more depressed and unhappy with their life than male". Let me tell you that this is so freaking true. I think the reason is that female likes to see what others have and compare with themselves. I call it insecurities. On the other hand, guys well they get insecurities too but the way they deal with it, is so amazing and calm. If a guy see his friend get an xbox, they do plan to get one too but asks lot of questions, (showing how interested they are in the product, indirectly they compliment the friend for owning an xbox). Most girls are just the opposite, commenting negative opinions about the other person for having something better than them. Sigh! I wish women could be different. More mellow. 

Why am I talking against women when I am one? Well because every time I see other women with bigger better stuff, I do the same. It's like someone programmed "us" women in this way so no matter how matter how you think outside the box, you still find yourself inside another box, for being women. It's like never ending boxes. 

Anyway, good news is that I finally was able to talk to someone and hearing from someone saying "I'm lost" feels so good. I know I'm supposed to be sad but I'm not because for the first time I felt like this person actually understand what a turmoil I'm going through with me. So she suggested me to take different classes to figure out what I like. Which seems like a legit idea and I did exactly that. I'm meeting her tonight after work just to discuss what class should I actually try since I can only sign up for one class. 

She's almost 30 yrs old and she's barely finishing her associate degree to be a lawyer. What a inspiring women. All these time I was hoping to meet someone like that and she's been under my nose, never noticed her. Sigh! If she can do that, then I can too. The way she spoke today about her dreams and following it, her future, boy that made me think psstt I'm still young and I can achieve whatever I wanted to. I can start my life all over if I want to. I wanted to a fresh start and I can have just that. All I have to do is put behind all the negative thoughts and ignore those people who intimidates me and any or anyone with negative opinion. 


Accomplished!!! 










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