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My sexual fantasy? Sort of

I'm not sure if I can make it short or not since I love writing on my blog. But today is just one of those days when I'm not doing anything at work and just reading my Wattpad. So suddenly, I started thinking about my romance life and how unlucky I am. Man I'm so tired of this. I know I have commitment issue but I'm not ready to accept it as I'm trying so hard to get into relationship, find a guy who wants the same.

Anyway, I think I have said it before but I can't stop and wonder how would it be like to have one night stand withoutttt any attachment or friends with benefits. I realllyyyy wish I didn't have that attachment issue right after Sex. You know right now I'm wishing that maybe I meet a playboy and be frank with him about how maybeeeee maybe he could teach me how to have better sex and give me the pleasure...  I mean playboy are famous for their experience right? What would it like to have sex with them and then NOT have attachment?

Ugh! it's killing me. I really want to just have sex with someone and be done with it.. no attachment or anything.. No one has to know!! kind of like that..living secret life and satisfied one too.. :D

Really, I'm so tired of looking for a nice guy that I rather forget about it and just go straight for the sex and someone who knows how to tease me. Seriously!! Also, when I meet a guy at the bar I want them to call me back. If I have a good sex with them so that we can have that again!! O:) hehe!

AND NOT HAVE ATTACHMENT ISSUE! I don't want to be clingyy!! I really don't want to be one of those girls thinking ohh this was sweet and I want to see him more and bla bla. I think I have done this with B.!

Ahh this has scarred me for life.. I will never forget this.. I wish one day I could just sit down and say sorry and talk to him about it..It's just so weird to talk to him and I think he's just mean. I think he dislikes me. Well once in a while I get this expression..

Anyway, L. would make a good friends with benefits.. He's funny and I feel completely comfortable around him.. even after sleeping with him.. I thought it might be weird but soo not!! Haha if something happens, I would prolly laugh at it!!

OMG I'm losing it..!! Yepp finally, I think I  lost it.. Why do I find everything funny! I got a parking ticket and I'm laughing about it..!! man I'm weird.!!

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