Me ranting about life

I'm at work as usual.

Not working, not that I don't have work.

I opened a twitter account and started tweeting.

I'm obsessed with how many followers I have.

Yet tell myself it doesn't matter, it's your twitter account.

I have no idea what will happen if I have thousands of people following me.

I'm itching to write something on my diary and feel the roughness of the paper through my pen.

I miss my ink pen.

My phone's constantly ringing from agency for employment.

I'm ignoring my calls thinking I'm at work.

Yet I feel guilty for not picking up those calls.

Then I feel sad and depressed thinking why don't I have any interviews yet.

Feeling guilty, I think about studying to refresh my memory on the subject.

But I don't feel like studying or study in that matter.

Then I feel guilty and nag that I don't have enough time to study.

I feel like slapping myself for nagging and tell myself what an idiot I am.

I make a plan to study and focus on what's important.

Then the next day I play around and make plans to avoid studying (like what I'm doing now)

Then feel depressed again for jobs and not studying.

Man... this just goes on.... I have this blog, my phone and my diary to write all about my shitty day and things I do to avoid the things I must do. Gah!! Isn't this enough??

I wonder how do those rich people do it without studying? Someone told me to work with the things you enjoy, money will follow. Honestly, if I did the things I enjoy I will never make money. T_T this is just utterly sad. I want to watch TV and write blogs. Blogs about general things. Things I'm writing now. This never makes money.. Pssssttt!!

Seriously, is there anything that will make me motivated to study and work hard?? Awww! I ammm Miserable!!!!!

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